as i was browsing facebook, i came across a post that quotes Nouman Ali,
Du’a is a Quran remedy for depression
hence the title..
im not sure if im in a state of depression as of now cuz, one im unemployed, second unmarried (and no boyfriend). am i depressed? yes? no? yes?
then i realised, i know shouldnt and immediately count on the blessing Allah pours on me. the ever so caring parents, the family im growing up in, the entertaining kids at home, the friends im surrounded with, the maids that help doing the house chores, the house im living in, the room im spending most of my time in, the car im driving on and many more, no im not depressed (enough)
but dont get me wrong, that also doesnt make me think i should stay unemployed and should forever ask for money from parents. i cant help it but feel regret for not being able to help my parents financially because at this age, its already bout payback time
i honestly envy those who can do that already. even more, those who are younger than me. it must be nice to be financially stable. its been almost a year since uni ended, and it looks as if, ive never really tried my best in looking for jobs. i even feel so. then today i was organizing the applications again, i forgot that, i have my folder that has my revision notes inside, then i wonder, i did prepare, i did my homework but why the interviews and test never seem to favour on me. i get super nervous, and totally forgotten what ive read (or at least i cant recall some important points). everytime. or did i just overdo things. lets just say, its not my rezeki yet
Sabar Fizah, sabar.. Inshaa Allah
second of all, there has been so many wedding videos posted that i cant help but to watch. ah.. so nice i wish i was the person in the video. the human nature in me, being single for a long time, makes me feel so lonely. what a pathetic confession, i know. a close friend who cant stop chatting on the preparation of her wedding and the parents who have been busy discussing on brother’s wedding and a younger cousin who just got engaged (oh ofcourse shes busy with her preparation too) . oh yeay! and im stuck in between. years ago, i nagged almost HALF of my friends are married, but today, almost ALL of my friends are and the half i was talking about yeas ago are mostly parents now. ofcourse im happy for them, then i look back to my self, then what does that make me, Astaghfirullah
Fizah, your time will come, no rush, and keep it only to the one that deserves your heart, Inshaa Allah,
kan Allah sudah menjanjikan rezeki dan jodoh bagi setiap manusia
gotta stand my belief on that and ofcourse, Du’a sejanta ku
“Cukuplah bertanyakan tentang jodoh.
Bila ianya datang lewat, bukan bermakna Allah sengaja melambatkan. Tapi Tuhan menunggu saat tepat hatimu benar-benar bersedia menerima anugerah paling indah dalam hidupmu. Seandainya tidak di dunia, pasti bertemu di akhirat sana. Itu janji Allah, maka jaga hatimu untukNya. =)”—(via penulisbuta)
Yesterday, 16082014, was the opening ceremony of UBDs Convocation Festival, yeyy graduation in two weeks, im oh-so-excited!
i remember missed the opening during my degree convo, the fact that im not planning to further to PHD, this could be my last graduation so i dont want to miss this! plus it was on Saturday, Nisa’s cuti day and i was given off day, SO WHY NOT?? we got the time to spare for this
the day before, Nisa wasnt aware of this event and that also means we never planned to go nor talked about it until we had this conversation and i mentioned to her,
the next day, i was so exhausted from the photoshoot i had the night before that only ended around 11pm and only slept around 1 am, now im still considering, if we should go or not
looks like 8 am is too early for us. We are on Solat break, incase youre judging we didnt wake up for Solat Subuh hmmph. it was..
to come at 8 was impossible for us. i texted Nisa soon after i woke up. 7.36am, not gonna happen. but somehow we made it! one and a half later that is. we only stayed in the car cuz it was already too late to enter the venue and for about 15 minutes spying around the area from where we parked *hahahaha* students and committees started lining up on the sides of the red carpet. we innocently (being late and parked at the VIPs area) went out and joined them waiting for HRH the Crown Prince to berangkat balik. we were all of the sudden so excited cuz we could get the chance for the selfie! but… we were too shy and scared to ask since we were the first ones in line. but somehow i dont know what drives the determination in us, we catch up the line towards the end *OMG imagining this again, it was so embarrassing* and tadaaaaa
and that doesnt end there! this morning, Nisa whatsapp-ed me an image, looookkk whos in the paper today!
*bottom far right at the corner of the page!* hahaha we are one the Brunei Times today!! colored and quite a size picture, i immediately purchased a physical copy for Nisa and my self. cuz goshhh this is random, kinda unplanned and lucky of us.
i finally found a perfect picture for my empty frame that has been on the shelf since forever :D and to sum up
Us, with Yeshan, international student from Mauritius we newly met, and bumped into Avaz, our coursemate from Uzbek
Us, with Malin our friend from the Core days
Us, getting ready to selfie with HRH the Crown Prince which didnt happen
Me, with the venue in the background, the new Faculty of Science building
its the festive season of Hari Raya Aidilfitri again. Alhamdulillah for another year of Raya celebration with the whole family after being given the opportunity to utilize fully the blessed month of Ramadhan with ‘amal ‘Ibadah and be accepted by Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala.
but you know whats my biggest worry? :(
i have socializing issue. i dont easily get along with people and i seriously hate being in a state of awkward around people im not close with cuz i have nothing to talk about and i dont know what to do. so, ive been locking up myself in the room or go out to escape. just now, i got my self ready, dressed up properly to greet my cousins who were paying a raya visit. i went down and unknowingly headed to the kitchen as i saw unfamiliar faces and straight to my abangs room cuz im just shy to see people. i stayed for a while then suddenly my aunt entered my room and caught me playing with my phone and not attending the guests :(
babu and bapa must have been disappointed with me. Sigh.