My cousin and I
“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night
with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves
them now and that nobody will ever love them,…”“Do you ever just get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? you don’t want to smile, and you don’t want to fake being happy. But at the same time, you don’t know exactly what is wrong either. there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who wont take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.” - Lora M. Heacock
It hurts to smile… I feel like I’m going to burst into tears. There’s just some days like this when it all seems to be wrong and nothing feels right.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
alright lets do this! i just hope the internet will not acting up like its always been these past few nights. so annoying! hey telbru, we do pay ok! improve your service, cant you?!
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i actually wrote this already few nights ago but the connection failed and the post wasnt automatically saved. but for the love.. to the people im dedicating this post, here i am again, rewriting a special-thank-you message from me to you…
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so..Salaam and hello :) couple weeks ago i just turned 24. yep! a year till my silver jubilee. i dont know why.. but somehow i dont feel like having a fancy birthday this year’s but hoping only for prayers and wishes. i slept early, i dont even wait till 12 o’clock strikes. but yeah, life is a bless. Allah sent me beautiful people to share the special day with, whom never forgotten the day im aging :p and making my birthday more meaningful. Alhamdulillah, thank you ya Allah for another year to be better and a chance to improve my self in whats lacking in me. not a good servant that i am, i will still try my best to be one, insyaAllah.
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to Babu and Bapa: thank you so much for everything that you both have done, and provided me. i would never asked for a better parent. you two are just the best. my best friends and my forever makan-partners. your not-so-little-anymore princess has grown up and thank you for shaping me to be the person that i am today. im truly thankful. thank you for the present bu..pa :’) and most importantly the continuous prayers. i could never returned enough what you both have done and given to me. the ones who look after me when im not feeling well, who i always mengadu at. my prayers go to Babu and Bapa, semoga Allah merahmati babu and bapa selalu, dilindungiNya, diberikan kesihatan yg baik, dipanjangkan umur & dimurahkan rezeki dan kesenangan dunia dan akhirat. aamin, insyaAllah. i love you bapa and babu.
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to my siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews: thank you for being there to celebrate my birthday. i appreciate it so much. thank you for the doa’s and hadiah. im always thankful to have you all as my brothers and sisters. really. im just lucky to be born in this family. thank you ya Allah. you all are inspirations to be better. and being the youngest sibling, im sure a lot of times, ive annoyed you all. im sorry.. and i love you all. to the nieces and nephews thank you for giving uncu a chance to feel how it is like to have a younger brother/sister. thank you for the birthday cards and thank you for always brighten up my days with unexpected hugs and kisses from you all. uncu sayang semua!
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to the BFFs aka sisters from another mother (Kyah, Aron and Nisa): thank you so much.. thank you for taking the time out of the rush hours to celebrate my birthday. i was truly touched.. and my tears showed it all. with no hesitation, you all are better called my sisters. to you i always turn to for advices and such. thank you for the surprise and being there on my birthday. *sisterly hug* thank you..i love you, you and you. may our friendship last for eternity.
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to the long-distanced BFF (Farhan): girlll i miss you! thank you for the wish. thank you to instagram for connecting us closely. im always excited to see your pictures uploaded. i miss you. i hope to see u as soon as u come back for good. and lets do the girls outing often. no more once-a-year dating okay! thank you for being a great friend all these years and hey its May already.. if i counted it right, it will be our 8th anniversary on May 27th. i love you xx
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to my saturday-night crowds (you know who you are): thank you so much for always making my saturday nights alive. hehe. thank you for the surprise. i seriously didnt expect that coming (jujur!) perhaps because i was already looking forward for bowling that night. haha. thank you all. thank you for always being there when i need a good laugh. <3
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to everyone who wished me happy birthday via Message, facebook, twitter, instagram and any other social networks thank you so much, your prayers meant a lot to me.. may Allah bless you all with all the great things in life and hereafter. aamin.
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thank you thank you thank you.
much love,
fizah
